The importance of meaningful friendships

Positive friendships provide a strong support network and bolster the human desire to belong to a community. What does your circle look like?

They say our vibe attracts our tribe, and for me that’s always been true. My friends reflect who I am and what I believe in. Throughout my life, friends have come and gone. But the true, core friendships have lasted the test of time and I know when a new friendship is built to last. I know a meaningful friendship when I encounter one. 

Many of us know someone who has dozens/hundreds of friends and seems to always be doing something extraordinary or being invited to something exciting. But it’s important here to establish the difference between loose acquaintances and firm, close friends. The people you can trust not to judge you, and to accept you for who you are. 

Good friends - here for the good, the bad and the ugly (crying)

Close friends are there for the fun times. With our best friends, we can be ourselves, with no pretence, and sometimes we don’t even need to speak to communicate; body language alone is enough. We can laugh with them, share happy memories and celebrate the successes. But good friends are also there for the bad, mad or sad times too, and arguably, it’s during these times that meaningful friends are most important - when they give support and encouragement to help and guide us. 

When we have a bad day and experience negativity, perhaps at work, during parenting duties or at a family gathering, friends are there to refill our cups with positivity. Friends who are there with generosity, love, companionship and kindness also make us more likely to either develop these positive traits, or nurture the ones we already have. Friendships do, after all, work both ways and need to be equal. That way, when one of you is down, the other is there to help bring you back up again and vice versa. 

The benefits of a good friendship

Close, meaningful friends give us a sense of belonging. They allow us to make connections with like-minded people and build trust among people we connect with. Having interactions with people we trust, and that trust in us, helps to build confidence and self-esteem. 

Without close friendships and feeling part of a community or group, we can feel isolated and lonely, which can lead to greater mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. Prolonged feelings of loneliness can also leave us more likely to rely on crutches such as alcohol or processed food, or more vulnerable to substance misuse. 

The 100% Club

I can count my closest friends on one hand and I refer to them as my 100% Club. I know that if a life crisis happens, they’ll all jump into action and in their individual ways, provide me with what I need at the time. Be that understanding, laughter, a listening ear, a sounding board or cake. Likewise, I’m there for each of them, too. 

Making new friends as an adult

Making friends, especially as an adult, can be hard. Many of us recognise those feelings of fear and “what if they don’t like me” when we join a new group or are introduced to someone new. But if you feel like you’re lacking close friendships, it’s never too late. If we’re open, friendships can develop in unlikely places. I met one of my 100% Club in the queue to a concert almost two decades ago.

How could you make new friends? Could you join a gym, exercise class, craft group, community centre, adult education class or committee near to where you live or work? Think about your passions and interests, and how joining something new could allow you to meet like-minded people. Or, what could you do to be a more engaged friend? Could you be the first to start a text or phone conversation more often? Could you travel to see friends who normally make the effort to come to you? 

It’s not often that my 100% Club are all together – we don’t travel around in a lioness pack. Quite the opposite, I met them all under different circumstances and personally, I prefer it that way. I have a close bond with each of them, and we do our own things as one-on-one time, which I adore. 

Does your tribe match your vibe?

So that’s what my circle looks like. My tribe, reflecting my vibe. Yours might be one close friend, a group of inseparable friends or a tribe of individuals each with their version of close friendship. 

Whatever your circle looks like, embrace it and be there for them as much as they are for you. Here’s to the one hundred percenters!