When you know better, you do better

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." - Maya Angelou – poet, storyteller, author and civil rights activist.

I love this quote. It makes complete sense to me as it makes me realise that I am, as are all of us, allowed to both change my mindset and make mistakes. Life is an ever lengthening learning curve, where our everyday experiences forge our thoughts, beliefs, passions and opinions. What we once thought to be our best self, may turn out to be completely different to who we are now or who we might be in the future. 

I’m a scientist. I have a very scientific mind, a science degree and a keen interest in life sciences. In the years after leaving university, my jobs all revolved around science, and for me to have an interest in something, it had to be black and white and scientifically proven. 

But in my almost 50 years on this planet I’ve grown into someone much more spiritual, someone who now also has a keen interest in Buddhism (despite having absolutely no interest or belief in ‘religion’). 

I’m now a writer, specialising in health and wellness. I use my science background to write fact-based articles on how best to stay healthy. But I also believe in more mystical things, that have no peer-reviewed articles or research to back it up. 

I still believe in science; I use it every day and I respect the research scientists beavering away to find the answers to some of our most important questions. But there’s a part of my life that is guided by something else that has its roots grounded in something very different from science. 

My mum often says that she should’ve called me Mary. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, she’ll sing to me, as I’m trying to make sense of the world, allowing different opinions to form about the world around me. Even I’m surprised when I find myself telling friends that the ‘universe has it all in hand’. 

Perhaps the two sides of me do contradict one another. But the question is, so what?

That’s the point I’m making here. So what if I’ve changed my mind and evolved into a person far removed from who I was 20 years ago.

The same goes for you. Changing your mind and slowly forming new opinions and thoughts, reading and educating yourself is a brilliant thing. So is being able to accept that some time ago, your actions or beliefs don’t resonate with you now. 

Being able to change your opinion is a beautiful and powerful thing, one that can empower you to go on and become who you want to be, without the shackles of your former self telling you that your past must dictate your future. Don’t be embarrassed, or try to cover up the old you. Own yourself, all that you used to be and all that you’ll become. Changing yourself, if you want to, doesn’t mean that the old you was bad. It just means you were different.

I’m learning all the time, and from that learning, I’m becoming a better version of myself. Being open to spirituality has made me a kinder, more compassionate person, with an open mind about something someone may have said or done, rather than judging from the start, based on fixed, preconceived ideas. 

For you, it could be something completely different that changes you. You could go from couch potato to someone who loves running so much, you run a marathon. Or you might change your political or religious beliefs. Whatever it is, don’t shy away from new thoughts and feelings. Be curious about them, invite them in and see what slowly develops in your mind. 

Think like Madonna. The queen of reinventing herself, Madonna hasn’t done so bad out of change. Accept who you are in this moment, whilst also accepting that a previous version of you was still you and a future version will still also be you. Allow yourself to change, and think of it as just another twist or turn on the journey of life. Continue to read, learn and discover new things that may give you a new perspective on things and question the things you’re told. Ask questions, all the time. Have you heard both sides? Would your opinion change were you to hear another angle of the same story or opinion? Perhaps our politicians could learn a lot from the power of change, and accepting and owning personal change. 

Change is good. If people criticise you for changing your values, looks or opinions, or accuse you of not knowing who you are, let them be. You know who you are, and you’re embracing your inner Mary. Be proud. I certainly am, and I’m a much better person for it. 

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